The Spiritual Scroll

SpiritualityGirl’s Newsletter

April 2008

The Spiritual Scroll was named by Emmy Cerra, who creates and produces AMAZING music. Check out her website at www.emmycerra.com.

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less than you’re worth
One of my favorite quotes in the world is “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less than you’re worth.” What does that mean exactly? It’s not believing the negative hype that others want to impose on you.

Most importantly, it’s also making sure you don’t believe the criticism that you impose on yourself that isn’t healthy. Beating yourself up doesn’t accomplish anything but tears and self-pity. And you’re better than that!

I have gone through times in my life where I have allowed myself to believe the negative words and criticism about me from other people and myself. I say allowed because I take responsibility for owning words and thoughts that really don’t belong to me. That was hard for me because them I went through a whole other period of judgment – how could I let it happen to me, etc.

I now realize was being too hard on myself.

It’s easier said than done, though, especially if it’s words or actions that come from people that you love. It’s hard to believe that someone would actually be putting you down. “It’s helpful talk,” you think.

But actually, anything that makes you feel bad, questions your worth, who you are or damages you in some way, is not helpful. It chips away at your self-esteem every single minute that you hold onto those words.

Imagine that you’re holding onto a bag dripping with toxic waste – just because someone gave it to you, does that mean it’s now yours? You would never hold it for a second – you’d back away, trying to distance yourself from the poison someone was trying to give you.

And yes, just because they’re words, we accept them readily, embrace them, wrap our arms around them and absorb them into our mind, body and spirit. We may even try to improve ourselves based on these words, when there was nothing to improve on in the first place.

Who knows what the motivation is for someone doing the things they do – but is it your path to accept their problems? Is it your path to help them feel better by accepting the attack on your self-worth? Is it your “contract” to absorb what isn’t yours?

Absolutely not.

Believe in yourself. Take the steps to change your life. One step begins a thousand mile journey.

Remember - Don’t even let anyone make you feel less than you’re worth, including yourself.

Opportunities
I was watching Evan Almighty tonight and on top of being a really funny movie (Steve Carrell with a Noah hair cut and beard - c'mon!), I loved one of the thoughts presented in the movie.

Evan's wife, Joan, had taken a break from Evan because it seemed that he had gone loopy. She's sitting in a restaurant watching John Stewart make fun of her husband and people in the bar laughing at him. He was messing up his job as a Congressman, spewing what seemed to be nonsense about God telling him to build an Ark and had grown his hair and beard out to an unmanageable length. She was sad, seeming to have given up but also having a strong love for Evan. She was confused and depressed.

Over comes God (Morgan Freeman) as a Waiter with the nametag "Al Mighty", who Joan doesn't know is God. She asked for a refill on her order and he says he can do that. But he also asks what is wrong. In their conversation, he mentions something that turned on a light for me.

He said that God does not grant exactly what you ask for but grants the OPPORTUNITY for what you want. When you ask for patience, God doesn't grant patience, God grants the opportunity to practice patience. When you ask for courage, God doesn't "ZAP" give you courage, he gives you the opportunity to be courageous. Then he smiles, leaves and she looks down to find her order is magically refilled.

And when I thought about it, when I thought about when I pray to Spirit, I get frustrated because Spirit doesn't give me what I want on the spot. There are times I get the opportunity to make a choice. I get the situation in front of me to create what I'm asking for.

I went back to one my earliest learnings on my Spiritual Path - that we co-create with Spirit. Giving us what we want is not necessarily the way we are to learn but working through the situation, the problem, the person who is just too obnoxious to deal with - those are opportunities. We just have to recognize them.

What are these situations, people, ideals that are in front of us? And what can we learn from them? What can we do to change them? Remember, our tormentors and our tyrants are our teachers. We're here to learn and to create what we want. We're here to transmute what have in front of us.

Spirit gives us a chance to answer our prayers and wishes - we just have to recognize and grab the opportunities presented.

Happiness is a shoe shopping trip away
I will freely admit to you that I love shoes. I just bought 4 pairs of heels off the clearance rack at DSW and they are phenomenal. I love them because they make me feel taller - I buy three inch heels for my five foot stature. I also feel more put together because shoes can make the outfit, right?

So, how can shoes be spiritual? Well, sometimes they are.

Shoes touch that part of me that makes me happy. They do something to me - when I try them on and prance over to a mirror to admire how good they look on my feet and when I wear them and get the "I love those shoes!" compliment. Of course, I then have to brag as to where I got them and how little I paid for them.

So as I thought about my shoes, I asked myself why I love them so much. I realized that they are bringing out a ton of happy emotions. But is it good to have something from the outside bring out my happiness on the inside? Every once in a while, yes. However, the happy emotions, I determine, are a part of me that I have to learn to touch without shoes or anything else on the outside.

Happiness doesn't cost anything, doesn't require anything (a smile helps) and can be given to anyone free of charge. Is it okay to look at happiness on the outside only? If I can't draw it in from the inside too, then there is a danger of not being in touch with my individual beauty, the inner fuel source that keeps me going. (Seriously, as tough as this may seem, I can only buy so many pairs of shoes.)

It's not fair to put the responsibility on others or things to make me happy all the time. I now must to take that long look inside to see what's there to brag about or to feel proud of. If that can't be done, I create a cycle of having to buy more things or meet other people to fill the need. Eventually, that can cause debt or hurt feelings and I now have another set of problems on my hands.

And now, I've determined that no one or nothing can know what makes me happy as well as I do. Putting the liability on someone else sets up a relationship to fail, buying too much can put us in debt, drugs, alcohol, food only numb the pain.

Nothing on the outside can ever feed the needs of the inside. Only when we learn to deal with the things that need to be repaired and loved within ourselves does the healing begin. No set of shoes, no matter how high, can repair what is missing.

Now, I’m not saying not to shop, but if you’re doing things on the outside to compensate for what’s missing on the inside, you’ll never do enough to fill the lost piece of you. You only continue to lose more pieces of you, like a puzzle that doesn’t have all of its pieces. You are not whole and you have to replace the pieces with something that’s not quite the same.

So spend some quality time with yourself – shoes are nice but happiness from within is priceless.

If you have a question, comment, want to subscribe, have a suggestion for a newsletter topic or even just to say hello, drop me an e-mail at mary@spiritualitygirl.com. You can unsubscribe at anytime, though I’d hate to see you go.

Current & Past Issues
May 2008, Issue Five
April 2008, Issue Four
December 2006, Issue Three
November 2006, Issue Two
October 2006, Issue One

Copyright © 2006 - 2008, SpiritualityGirl.com,
All Rights Reserved.
Website designed and maintained by Mary